Superhero

Whoosh!

Instead of saving people, this superhero slaps them across the face. Then he flies off, leaving behind his favorite adage: “Man’s greatest ignorance is his assumption that others are more ignorant.”

“Wise words of Confucius!” he’d bellow from the sky.

Except, Confucius never said these words. Not even once. But quotes sure sound more righteous when attributed to a famous figure, don’t you think? So take your pick: Socrates, Churchill, or the fortune cookie that came with last night’s take-out.

Regardless, the superhero’s resolve remains the same. He wants to convey a message on something significant, like world peace and so on and so forth.

On most days, the superhero isn’t one to discuss world peace – the Miss Universe Pageant does enough of that for everyone – yet he’s become increasingly distraught over recent conflicts. Activists rebel against police lines formed for their safety. Rioters commit murder over a film preview. Fishing boats clash for the possession of uninhabited islands. And so on and so forth.

Seems like one big misunderstanding, don’t you think?

The superhero believes that the biggest misunderstanding comes from one’s self. It starts with becoming convinced that you know more than others. Therefore, you must convince others that they know less than you. But once every individual reaches the same conclusion, they all fight blindly to impose new perspectives.

“Place a few world leaders and university students in a round room, and they’re bound to bicker about where the corner exists.” There hasn’t been a famous figure to quote this yet, but the superhero will let you know when he finds one.

For now, he zips around the world, slapping those who fight blindly to impose new perspectives. If you’re lucky, it might just be a simple flick on the forehead – but with super-strength fingers, no less.

The act is meant to smack some sense into a person, so to speak. Maybe the stinging burn and the favorite adage will serve as a reminder to be more considerate of others. After all, no one knows everything but everyone knows something. Perhaps world peace can stem from joining ideas, like some grand jigsaw puzzle of thoughts.

Yes, one day, great minds will conspire to eradicate hunger and poverty. Communities will prosper together. Disease will cease to prevail. Wars will no longer be waged. And so on and so forth.

The superhero slaps people to keep them from fighting each other, and he fails to see the irony in this. But as the saying goes, “The show must go on.”

“Wise words of Confucius!” Of course.

Who do you think the superhero might be? I'll give you a hint: It's not me!

Footnote: Special thanks to a few friends who helped me set up this story.

Nobody's Happy

With the recent introduction of iPhone 5 and the release of iOS 6, many gadget geeks have criticized Apple's lack of innovation in its latest product. Has our perception of technology changed for the worse?

As Louis C.K. aptly noted, "Everything is amazing right now and nobody's happy."

What caption(s) would you add?

Backwards to Letters

Following eighth grade, my classes have always been held over three hundred miles away from home.

Sadly, this wasn’t because I received an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. No, those dreams of meeting Harry Potter Hermione Granger died long before my thirteenth birthday.

Instead, I was fortunate to have the opportunity of attending boarding school. From there, I went on to university – also some ways from home. Eight academic years without my family came with a few challenges. To begin with, I constantly craved my dad’s cooking. Then, there was the issue of laundry. Who would’ve known that duplicating keys for access to faculty washing machines could lead to cruel and unusual punishments?

Nevertheless, I wouldn’t change a single moment of these past eight years, save for the semester I registered for mathematical economics.

Other than that, I regret nothing because I was able to establish some truly rich friendships. We were all taking classes some three hundred miles away from home. Most were even farther, from Jamaica or Nepal. Together, we replicated faculty keysets and cried over difficult coursework.

But now that I’ve received my bachelors, my friends and I are somewhat scattered from one another. Some are in the process of completing new degrees while others have begun searching for jobs. We are no longer all in the same class, to say the least.

Of course, between tweets and emails, there are endless ways to stay in touch nowadays. The only problem is effort; as schedules and routines become busier, phone calls can turn into simple likes on a Facebook status. Perhaps, it is because we can so easily find each other that we often forget to do so. I suppose this is both a blessing and a curse of today’s technology.

So, I’ve decided to take a step backwards and write letters to a few close friends. Sure, the delivery may take longer, but at least I can share a few more stories with someone.

As for me, receiving a friend’s letter is always a happy experience. It’s the only thing I’m certain I want to read before reading any of it. You never know what to expect! Most recently, I tore open an envelope (Note: I was very excited, but I’m not nearly talented enough to describe unsealing envelopes with excitement) only to read, “…the sushi is actually a dollar cheaper than before.”

What the heck…?

Turns out I had started reading on the wrong side of the letter.

Still, not even an invitation to Hogwarts could have been better.

What's the most interesting/memorable letter you've ever received? Do you write to far-away friends - or do you prefer other ways of keeping in touch?

Good Food Is Never Just About the Food

There are many milestones reached during one’s twenties – graduations, careers, and maybe even the start of a serious relationship. But as a guy who is hungry at all hours, I’d say cooking that first legitimate meal tops my list thus far.

No, I’m not counting the first time I toasted my PB&J sandwich. Rather, this was a dinner of baked rosemary chicken, couscous, and stir-fried vegetables. There might have even been homemade chocolate fondue (for the strawberries, of course), but I don’t really remember anymore.

Still, certainly more than one plate and butter knife had to be washed afterwards.

I had cooked for my housemates and a few friends, and with some good conversation and laughs, the evening made for some pretty damn good memories.

So since then, I've tried to cook as often as I could. Alongside some new recipes, I've also come across a few invaluable lessons as well. For example...

Fried eggs, rice seasoning, and baked drumsticks. Occasionally, the simplest fixings can make for the most delicious lunch plates. With some thoughtfulness, a lot can come from just a few things.

On the other hand, Japanese curry chicken requires numerous ingredients and long hours. Pretty daunting task, yeah? It is – but don’t be afraid to give it a try! Nothing great’s ever come about without taking a risk first.

Also, a grilled chicken – with olive oil, oat nut bread, provolone cheese and spinach – sandwich can never go wrong.

But, I’d be remiss if you got the impression that I’m proud simply for having learned a few recipes. After all, good food is never just about the food. Instead, I owe it to cooking for having brought friends together, whether it was sharing food at a housewarming potluck, or enjoying one last dinner before she went abroad.

As for that dinner, I do remember having chocolate fondue with strawberries. And it was damn good.

What are your favorite dishes to make? More importantly, what are the most fulfilling endeavors of your twenties? (If you’re under 20, what are you looking forward to?)

Is This Motherhood?

I was picking up a few things at Target today when a nearby mother said to her two small children, "Just scream if someone tries to take you," as she hurried away - far, far away - to grab a box of cereal. Was this a ridiculous scene, or perhaps the wisest words a parent can offer?

Footnote: The above cartoon is only an artistic rendition.

Desire at Two-Thirty

This is a story about desire at two-thirty in the morning.

At two-thirty in the morning, I was unable to sleep. I tossed and twisted beneath my heavy comforter, occasionally slipping my toes into the cool nighttime air. Even with eyes shut and hair bent stiff against my pillow, it was no use trying to dream. My subconscious sought exactly what my thoughts craved, and sleep would only make me forget.

And so, I tossed and twisted, thinking, maybe I could shake the thoughts off from my mind.

But this was an overpowering desire; it overwhelmed the deepest of deep sensibilities and left me wide awake late into the night, until, finally, I sat up in my bed. One could only ignore a desire for so long. I had to succumb eventually, admitting that what I wanted, truly wanted, was…was…

A cheeseburger! But not just any cheeseburger. I wanted the 100% perfect cheeseburger.

Yes, this was the deepest of deep hunger pangs, and my lips lusted for that heavenly, gourmet sandwich. Oh, I could taste it so clearly! There were the buttery buns, slightly crisped on the edges, with a hint of roasted sesame seeds on top. Next came the 8 ounces of barbecued ground chuck, grilled to its succulent, beefy center. Then, toss in two slices of a tomato, leaf lettuce, pickles and Muenster cheese – melted right onto the charred meaty crust, of course.

Add a blend of ketchup, diced onions and minced garlic, and voila, not even a heavy French dish can be as satisfying.

I knew just how I would eat it too – with fingers lightly pressed against the bread, careful to hold everything together without squeezing out bits of ripe tomatoes and savory sauces. But as soon as my teeth sank in for that first bite, the fattiness would trickle down from the steaming patty, infusing itself into a salty, sweet and tangy flavor.

In every scent and touch, this was the 100% perfect cheeseburger for me at two-thirty in the morning. Nothing more, nothing less.

Well, okay, maybe a slice of cheesecake wouldn’t be too bad either.

But did I actually get up to grill a burger or toast the buns? The short answer is no. I simply tossed and twisted some more.

After all, this was only a story about desire.

What are your late-night cravings, and how do you deal with them? 

Footnote: Many thanks to writer Haruki Murakami, whose short stories in The Elephant Vanishes have inspired this post.

A Fear of Perfect Endings

It’s a bit late, but I’ve just finished my first summer reading! And as with any good book, countless reflections flooded my mind as soon as I closed the back cover.

So, let’s start with my first thought, a question:

What if there were mechanical presidential candidates? You know, just bolts and rust instead of handshakes and idiocy?

Evidently, there would be fewer gaffes concerning sporting events, but that’s a story for another time.

Now, where was I? Ah, the book!

Written by the famed Kurt Vonnegut, Player Piano illustrates a world more dependent on machines than a teenage girl with her mobile Facebook app. There are super computers, mindlessly calculating how many door knobs, dinner plates, television sets, washing machines and everything else to produce for society. There are engineers, whose doctoral degrees allow them to sit behind office desks and act only when an instrument requires wire-replacement. Then, with one flick of a switch, another machine whirs to swap out the faulty cables.

Of course, the number of necessary engineers is also determined by the computers.

At face value, Vonnegut paints an unwelcome conclusion to the post-Second World War culture. Yet, I find it hard to believe that he really expected us to fear dominance by machinery – after all, most of us are probably too busy clicking on Groupon deals to contemplate such nonsense. Instead, I wonder if, beneath the irony and genius in Kurt’s prose, a deeper anxiety awaits to be found.

Perhaps it is a fear of the perfect ending. See, even in Vonnegut’s flawless world where the robots do all the hard work – and replace our kitchen appliances every few years! – the humans aren’t happy.

To refrain from spoilers, I’ll just reiterate that last part; the humans aren’t happy.

Is it because we prefer continual change over finality? Does the idea of “progress” signify the root of all our desires? Would we really rather live with a malfunctioning dishwasher?

I have zero sufficient answers but, hell, at the very least, maybe we just enjoy watching presidential candidates who stupidly criticize Olympics preparations.

What are your thoughts on Vonnegut, machines and the likes? An inquiring mind wants to know.

Creative Bullet Points

Having just graduated from university, applying to jobs nowadays has become a full-time job in itself. So far, it’s been a hectic mixture of finding opportunities, creating objectives, e-mails, phone calls, contacts, cover letters, and resumes.

Or should I write Résumé?

Since the single-page PDF document is incredibly important for seeking employment, there’s a constant editing process in making sure every bullet point is concise and significant. After all, recruiters can only be so attentive with the many dozens (or hundreds) of applicants – which has led me to wonder, what can I do to grab their attention?

Here’s one answer that might just work: Underneath that magazine internship, jot down “Obtained valuable professional experiences in retrieving coffee.” Sure, it may catch your employer off-guard, but there are many positives as well! It shows that you value the importance of a little humor – and maybe even the small details at work. Least of all, it demonstrates your readiness to be different. Be creative. Be BOLD.

What could possibly go wrong?

At worst, one recruiter will just chuckle and say to another, “You know, I could really use a good cup o’ coffee right now.”

Yes, that’s how I will grab their attention.

But for now, I’ll let you try it first. Let me know how it goes. In case you get stuck somewhere between the Education, Professional Experience and Qualifications sections, here are a few more suggestions:

– Fluent in Microsoft Paint applications.

– [Insert name here] will be an equal opportunity employee. Women and minorities are encouraged to hire.

– Graduated within top hundred percent of class.

So, how are your job-searching experiences? Any pointers for resumes – or do you prefer Résumé?