First

First things first.

Her name is Volia and the first time she said, “No, thank you” was before I could even ask her out!

She is my beautiful Belarusian friend, with powdered blue eyes, blonde hair and a gift to never have a single, comprehensible conversation with me. So when I invited her to spend a day in Boston, she misunderstood my gesture and wrote back a long response, which can be aptly summarized as, “No, thank you.” Of course!

This was the bittersweet beginning of a warm friendship and, over the years, we bonded over small problems (Macroeconomics presentation? For tomorrow?!) and shared a few relationship secrets (Date with him? Tomorrow?!). Somewhere in-between, we even learned to play squash and overcame language barriers of “Heh?” and “What?”

But just as a hot cup of cocoa has to cool at some point, our everyday bond eventually came to an end. Now, she is back at the university, writing her honors thesis on business regulations and I am doing a finance fellowship in another city. So much for practicing squash together.

So much for Boston.

A few weeks ago, I received a letter from her. On a creased piece of paper, she told me of her worries when thinking about life after college. How will she stay in touch with friends? Should she apply for graduate programs, or start searching for jobs? What if she finds failure and disappointment?

I wrote back, “Volia, you shouldn’t be afraid of failure. No one’s ever succeeded without falling a few times, so don’t be afraid to succeed.”

Though, on the inside, I’m just as scared. How do I establish a stable career path in this economy? When will I be able to support my family? Can I stay healthy, mentally and physically? What if all I find is failure and disappointment?

No, thank you!

This past weekend, I visited my university and celebrated Volia’s birthday with her. It was refreshing to see her, not because of overdue squash matches or for her powdered blue eyes, but because she reminds me to always work hard. Forget about worrying and, instead, spend that time focused on the tasks in front – honors thesis or fellowship.

More importantly, I am reminded to always treasure the moments with my beautiful Belarusian friend. After all, laughter is just as serious as work. So, along with long hugs and dinner, Volia smiled and joked, “Okay, no more Boston. How about we do D.C. next?”

Yes, please!

Footnote: All names have been changed for privacy and safety purposes - you know, in case I ever end up as a CIA agent.

Footnote 2: This post is titled "First" because it is the first time that I mention a specific person, what I do and where I am (approximately). 

Backwards to Letters

Following eighth grade, my classes have always been held over three hundred miles away from home.

Sadly, this wasn’t because I received an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. No, those dreams of meeting Harry Potter Hermione Granger died long before my thirteenth birthday.

Instead, I was fortunate to have the opportunity of attending boarding school. From there, I went on to university – also some ways from home. Eight academic years without my family came with a few challenges. To begin with, I constantly craved my dad’s cooking. Then, there was the issue of laundry. Who would’ve known that duplicating keys for access to faculty washing machines could lead to cruel and unusual punishments?

Nevertheless, I wouldn’t change a single moment of these past eight years, save for the semester I registered for mathematical economics.

Other than that, I regret nothing because I was able to establish some truly rich friendships. We were all taking classes some three hundred miles away from home. Most were even farther, from Jamaica or Nepal. Together, we replicated faculty keysets and cried over difficult coursework.

But now that I’ve received my bachelors, my friends and I are somewhat scattered from one another. Some are in the process of completing new degrees while others have begun searching for jobs. We are no longer all in the same class, to say the least.

Of course, between tweets and emails, there are endless ways to stay in touch nowadays. The only problem is effort; as schedules and routines become busier, phone calls can turn into simple likes on a Facebook status. Perhaps, it is because we can so easily find each other that we often forget to do so. I suppose this is both a blessing and a curse of today’s technology.

So, I’ve decided to take a step backwards and write letters to a few close friends. Sure, the delivery may take longer, but at least I can share a few more stories with someone.

As for me, receiving a friend’s letter is always a happy experience. It’s the only thing I’m certain I want to read before reading any of it. You never know what to expect! Most recently, I tore open an envelope (Note: I was very excited, but I’m not nearly talented enough to describe unsealing envelopes with excitement) only to read, “…the sushi is actually a dollar cheaper than before.”

What the heck…?

Turns out I had started reading on the wrong side of the letter.

Still, not even an invitation to Hogwarts could have been better.

What's the most interesting/memorable letter you've ever received? Do you write to far-away friends - or do you prefer other ways of keeping in touch?

Good Food Is Never Just About the Food

There are many milestones reached during one’s twenties – graduations, careers, and maybe even the start of a serious relationship. But as a guy who is hungry at all hours, I’d say cooking that first legitimate meal tops my list thus far.

No, I’m not counting the first time I toasted my PB&J sandwich. Rather, this was a dinner of baked rosemary chicken, couscous, and stir-fried vegetables. There might have even been homemade chocolate fondue (for the strawberries, of course), but I don’t really remember anymore.

Still, certainly more than one plate and butter knife had to be washed afterwards.

I had cooked for my housemates and a few friends, and with some good conversation and laughs, the evening made for some pretty damn good memories.

So since then, I've tried to cook as often as I could. Alongside some new recipes, I've also come across a few invaluable lessons as well. For example...

Fried eggs, rice seasoning, and baked drumsticks. Occasionally, the simplest fixings can make for the most delicious lunch plates. With some thoughtfulness, a lot can come from just a few things.

On the other hand, Japanese curry chicken requires numerous ingredients and long hours. Pretty daunting task, yeah? It is – but don’t be afraid to give it a try! Nothing great’s ever come about without taking a risk first.

Also, a grilled chicken – with olive oil, oat nut bread, provolone cheese and spinach – sandwich can never go wrong.

But, I’d be remiss if you got the impression that I’m proud simply for having learned a few recipes. After all, good food is never just about the food. Instead, I owe it to cooking for having brought friends together, whether it was sharing food at a housewarming potluck, or enjoying one last dinner before she went abroad.

As for that dinner, I do remember having chocolate fondue with strawberries. And it was damn good.

What are your favorite dishes to make? More importantly, what are the most fulfilling endeavors of your twenties? (If you’re under 20, what are you looking forward to?)