First

First things first.

Her name is Volia and the first time she said, “No, thank you” was before I could even ask her out!

She is my beautiful Belarusian friend, with powdered blue eyes, blonde hair and a gift to never have a single, comprehensible conversation with me. So when I invited her to spend a day in Boston, she misunderstood my gesture and wrote back a long response, which can be aptly summarized as, “No, thank you.” Of course!

This was the bittersweet beginning of a warm friendship and, over the years, we bonded over small problems (Macroeconomics presentation? For tomorrow?!) and shared a few relationship secrets (Date with him? Tomorrow?!). Somewhere in-between, we even learned to play squash and overcame language barriers of “Heh?” and “What?”

But just as a hot cup of cocoa has to cool at some point, our everyday bond eventually came to an end. Now, she is back at the university, writing her honors thesis on business regulations and I am doing a finance fellowship in another city. So much for practicing squash together.

So much for Boston.

A few weeks ago, I received a letter from her. On a creased piece of paper, she told me of her worries when thinking about life after college. How will she stay in touch with friends? Should she apply for graduate programs, or start searching for jobs? What if she finds failure and disappointment?

I wrote back, “Volia, you shouldn’t be afraid of failure. No one’s ever succeeded without falling a few times, so don’t be afraid to succeed.”

Though, on the inside, I’m just as scared. How do I establish a stable career path in this economy? When will I be able to support my family? Can I stay healthy, mentally and physically? What if all I find is failure and disappointment?

No, thank you!

This past weekend, I visited my university and celebrated Volia’s birthday with her. It was refreshing to see her, not because of overdue squash matches or for her powdered blue eyes, but because she reminds me to always work hard. Forget about worrying and, instead, spend that time focused on the tasks in front – honors thesis or fellowship.

More importantly, I am reminded to always treasure the moments with my beautiful Belarusian friend. After all, laughter is just as serious as work. So, along with long hugs and dinner, Volia smiled and joked, “Okay, no more Boston. How about we do D.C. next?”

Yes, please!

Footnote: All names have been changed for privacy and safety purposes - you know, in case I ever end up as a CIA agent.

Footnote 2: This post is titled "First" because it is the first time that I mention a specific person, what I do and where I am (approximately).