The Caveman

This is a piece on the current situation in Gaza.

Turkey and grape leaves.

On the days before the first frosts, the Caveman knew only of roasted wild poultry wrapped in softened greens. So when the wind blew, the Caveman thought of turkey and grape leaves; when the night was still, the Caveman dreamt of turkey and grape leaves.

Ask the Caveman to chisel an ode to his next meal, and not even Pablo Neruda could pen more passionately.

Little did the Caveman know – or contemplate – that, thousands of years later, civilized families would gather to carve turkeys, ones just like his! Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, other civilized families would boil grape leaves as rockets raced from the sky.

But more importantly, these are the same grape leaves, just like his!

The Caveman concentrated on building his fire. He did not have time to imagine the upcoming rise and fall of Rome or Germany or atom bombs. Perhaps the Caveman simply lacked imagination, but we cannot know for sure. He was too busy keeping an eye on the turkey and grape leaves.

But ask the Caveman about Nazi ideology, and he would have answered that genocides don’t require concentration camps and human ovens, nor does it need ICC definitions to determine when the indiscriminate murder of a people actually becomes the indiscriminate murder of a people.

Hell, the last time anything was that clear was when enemies could be distinguished by the Swastika!

Ask the Caveman about nuclear weapons, and he would have understood that, if one bomb ruined Hiroshima, so could the other twenty-seven thousand. With so many missiles pointed at each other, he would have questioned, since when did human beings decide to depend on self-destruction?

Has it replaced turkey and grape leaves? 

 

The Caveman certainly couldn't have written an ode to genocides and atom bombs. Here’s to hoping I can’t, either. 

Footnote: Turkey and grape leaves represent the two conflicting states, as both ingredients are used in Israeli and Palestinian dishes, respectively.

Footnote 2: The "Caveman" refers - in part - to the simplicity that "violence" should be defined as. While the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a complex topic, the fact remains that people are being killed, whether 3 on one side or 40 on the other. Too often, we forget this during discussions. 

Footnote 3: Scholars and governments alike are often hesitant on declaring genocides within conflicts. But this label should not prevent institutions from working to stop violence.

Footnote 4: I had mentioned atom bombs because Israel is the only state to neither confirm nor deny possession of nuclear weapons. I think this act (or lack thereof) plays a major role in determining US foreign policies. If you have additional thoughts, let me know!

Not For a Pulitzer Prize

Note to self: The word “erotic” is not interchangeable with “beautiful.”

It was a lesson learned the hard way when I wrote my first horror story – and wanted to describe the lead female character – in eighth grade. Since then, I like to think I've gained a bit more experience in writing through personal journals, research papers and magazines.

Unfortunately, at no point in time did I ever stop to acquire a love for poetry.

Partly, this is thanks to my inability to critically analyze any lines past “Roses are red, violets are blue.” During high school, interpreting the works of Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost was as difficult as AP Calculus!

But just as I have attempted to understand partial derivatives for the Lagrange multiplier, I am trying my hand at writing art. So, here is a short poem. It may not win the next Pulitzer Prize, but you have to start somewhere, yeah?

Just One Memory

So if you could know just one friend, who would you love?

And if you could love just one home, where would you dream?

And if you could dream just one moment, when would you see?

And if you could see just one memory, why would it be?

Let me know how you read it. And if you enjoy writing your own verses, please do share them!

Footnote: This poem was actually written many months ago, which means it’s been some time since I've tried poetry. I will have to get back into it! 

First

First things first.

Her name is Volia and the first time she said, “No, thank you” was before I could even ask her out!

She is my beautiful Belarusian friend, with powdered blue eyes, blonde hair and a gift to never have a single, comprehensible conversation with me. So when I invited her to spend a day in Boston, she misunderstood my gesture and wrote back a long response, which can be aptly summarized as, “No, thank you.” Of course!

This was the bittersweet beginning of a warm friendship and, over the years, we bonded over small problems (Macroeconomics presentation? For tomorrow?!) and shared a few relationship secrets (Date with him? Tomorrow?!). Somewhere in-between, we even learned to play squash and overcame language barriers of “Heh?” and “What?”

But just as a hot cup of cocoa has to cool at some point, our everyday bond eventually came to an end. Now, she is back at the university, writing her honors thesis on business regulations and I am doing a finance fellowship in another city. So much for practicing squash together.

So much for Boston.

A few weeks ago, I received a letter from her. On a creased piece of paper, she told me of her worries when thinking about life after college. How will she stay in touch with friends? Should she apply for graduate programs, or start searching for jobs? What if she finds failure and disappointment?

I wrote back, “Volia, you shouldn’t be afraid of failure. No one’s ever succeeded without falling a few times, so don’t be afraid to succeed.”

Though, on the inside, I’m just as scared. How do I establish a stable career path in this economy? When will I be able to support my family? Can I stay healthy, mentally and physically? What if all I find is failure and disappointment?

No, thank you!

This past weekend, I visited my university and celebrated Volia’s birthday with her. It was refreshing to see her, not because of overdue squash matches or for her powdered blue eyes, but because she reminds me to always work hard. Forget about worrying and, instead, spend that time focused on the tasks in front – honors thesis or fellowship.

More importantly, I am reminded to always treasure the moments with my beautiful Belarusian friend. After all, laughter is just as serious as work. So, along with long hugs and dinner, Volia smiled and joked, “Okay, no more Boston. How about we do D.C. next?”

Yes, please!

Footnote: All names have been changed for privacy and safety purposes - you know, in case I ever end up as a CIA agent.

Footnote 2: This post is titled "First" because it is the first time that I mention a specific person, what I do and where I am (approximately). 

Sushi and Burgers

Apologies! I haven’t written nearly enough these past few weeks. I haven’t had nearly enough cheesecake either.

Speaking of food, I do have a few updates. Sure, a lot has also happened recently with careers, friendships and personal reflections, but these cannot be discussed without sharing some appetizers and entrées first. So, dinner it is!

A friend once estimated she’d save $300 a year if she learned to make her own sushi. I came to a similar conclusion, give or take another $500. (Especially if I keep going to Minado)

Thanks to my insatiable love for a good ol’ cheeseburger, I had enjoyed this Five Guys treat twice in the span of one week and some four hundred miles apart.

Perhaps my next post should be about my new exercising plans…

With great food comes great conversation – though often followed by a food-induced drunkenness. I’ll write down those thoughts and moments soon! In the meantime, let me know what foods you typically go out for, and why you enjoy it!

The Godzilla of Studying

I never thought I'd miss attending classes. Ah, just the whole experience of fighting bed sheets at 9 in the morning, stumbling into the classroom - late, of course, missing every other sentence the professor says...

Okay, so I don't miss everything about classes, but after four years of university, the strange lack of learning was enough for me to sign up for a finance course with Coursera. Don't judge me, but listening to video lectures on investments and regressions has actually been a comforting experience thus far. And the best part? Pausing whenever I miss something!

However, for my friends studying for their Masters in finance, these sentiments are nonexistent. It's around midterms season and I can only imagine the stress of memorizing models on risks and returns. So, here is a cartoon of encouragement to help them "tear through" (get it, get it?) those exams with flying colors!

How did/do you deal with exam weeks? A curious former-student wants to know.

Superhero

Whoosh!

Instead of saving people, this superhero slaps them across the face. Then he flies off, leaving behind his favorite adage: “Man’s greatest ignorance is his assumption that others are more ignorant.”

“Wise words of Confucius!” he’d bellow from the sky.

Except, Confucius never said these words. Not even once. But quotes sure sound more righteous when attributed to a famous figure, don’t you think? So take your pick: Socrates, Churchill, or the fortune cookie that came with last night’s take-out.

Regardless, the superhero’s resolve remains the same. He wants to convey a message on something significant, like world peace and so on and so forth.

On most days, the superhero isn’t one to discuss world peace – the Miss Universe Pageant does enough of that for everyone – yet he’s become increasingly distraught over recent conflicts. Activists rebel against police lines formed for their safety. Rioters commit murder over a film preview. Fishing boats clash for the possession of uninhabited islands. And so on and so forth.

Seems like one big misunderstanding, don’t you think?

The superhero believes that the biggest misunderstanding comes from one’s self. It starts with becoming convinced that you know more than others. Therefore, you must convince others that they know less than you. But once every individual reaches the same conclusion, they all fight blindly to impose new perspectives.

“Place a few world leaders and university students in a round room, and they’re bound to bicker about where the corner exists.” There hasn’t been a famous figure to quote this yet, but the superhero will let you know when he finds one.

For now, he zips around the world, slapping those who fight blindly to impose new perspectives. If you’re lucky, it might just be a simple flick on the forehead – but with super-strength fingers, no less.

The act is meant to smack some sense into a person, so to speak. Maybe the stinging burn and the favorite adage will serve as a reminder to be more considerate of others. After all, no one knows everything but everyone knows something. Perhaps world peace can stem from joining ideas, like some grand jigsaw puzzle of thoughts.

Yes, one day, great minds will conspire to eradicate hunger and poverty. Communities will prosper together. Disease will cease to prevail. Wars will no longer be waged. And so on and so forth.

The superhero slaps people to keep them from fighting each other, and he fails to see the irony in this. But as the saying goes, “The show must go on.”

“Wise words of Confucius!” Of course.

Who do you think the superhero might be? I'll give you a hint: It's not me!

Footnote: Special thanks to a few friends who helped me set up this story.

Nobody's Happy

With the recent introduction of iPhone 5 and the release of iOS 6, many gadget geeks have criticized Apple's lack of innovation in its latest product. Has our perception of technology changed for the worse?

As Louis C.K. aptly noted, "Everything is amazing right now and nobody's happy."

What caption(s) would you add?

Backwards to Letters

Following eighth grade, my classes have always been held over three hundred miles away from home.

Sadly, this wasn’t because I received an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. No, those dreams of meeting Harry Potter Hermione Granger died long before my thirteenth birthday.

Instead, I was fortunate to have the opportunity of attending boarding school. From there, I went on to university – also some ways from home. Eight academic years without my family came with a few challenges. To begin with, I constantly craved my dad’s cooking. Then, there was the issue of laundry. Who would’ve known that duplicating keys for access to faculty washing machines could lead to cruel and unusual punishments?

Nevertheless, I wouldn’t change a single moment of these past eight years, save for the semester I registered for mathematical economics.

Other than that, I regret nothing because I was able to establish some truly rich friendships. We were all taking classes some three hundred miles away from home. Most were even farther, from Jamaica or Nepal. Together, we replicated faculty keysets and cried over difficult coursework.

But now that I’ve received my bachelors, my friends and I are somewhat scattered from one another. Some are in the process of completing new degrees while others have begun searching for jobs. We are no longer all in the same class, to say the least.

Of course, between tweets and emails, there are endless ways to stay in touch nowadays. The only problem is effort; as schedules and routines become busier, phone calls can turn into simple likes on a Facebook status. Perhaps, it is because we can so easily find each other that we often forget to do so. I suppose this is both a blessing and a curse of today’s technology.

So, I’ve decided to take a step backwards and write letters to a few close friends. Sure, the delivery may take longer, but at least I can share a few more stories with someone.

As for me, receiving a friend’s letter is always a happy experience. It’s the only thing I’m certain I want to read before reading any of it. You never know what to expect! Most recently, I tore open an envelope (Note: I was very excited, but I’m not nearly talented enough to describe unsealing envelopes with excitement) only to read, “…the sushi is actually a dollar cheaper than before.”

What the heck…?

Turns out I had started reading on the wrong side of the letter.

Still, not even an invitation to Hogwarts could have been better.

What's the most interesting/memorable letter you've ever received? Do you write to far-away friends - or do you prefer other ways of keeping in touch?